I´ve got thirty-six expressions
Sweet as pie to tough as leather,
And that´s six expressions more
Than all them, Barrymores put together.

Instead of just kicking me
Why don´t they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot,
´Cause they´re scared that I got
Such a gift
Well, I´m miffed

´cause I´m the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it!
Wait, they´re gonna hear a voice,
A silver flute -- ah haha, ah haha
They´ll cheer each toot -- Hey! I hear it´s terrific!
When I expose it! -- Now can´t you see to look at me

That I´m a natural Camille?
As Camille I just feel
I have so much to offer -- hey listen kid, I know I´d be divine because...
I´m a natural cougher (coughs)
Some ain´t got it, not a lump,
I´m a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
They´ll bend in half -- Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?
A thousand jokes -- Stick around for the jokes,
A thousand faces -- I reiterate,
When you´re gifted,
Then you´re gifted,
These are facts, I got no axe to grind

Hey, what are you blind?
In all of the world so far
I´m the greatest star!

No autographs please
Do you think beautiful girls are gonna be a star forever?
I should say not, any minute now they´re gonna be out
Finished! Then it´ll be my turn

Who is the pip with pizazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who´s an American Beauty rose
With an American Beauty nose,
And ten American Beaty toes,
Eyes on the target, and wham!
One shot, one gun shot and bam!

Hey, Mr. Keeney
Here I am

I´m the greatest star,
I am by far,
But no one knows it!
That´s why I was born
I´ll blow my horn
Till someone blows it!

I´ll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I´ll flicker, then flare up
All the world´s gonna stare up
Lookin´ down, you´ll never see me
Try the sky ´cause that will be me
I can make ´em cry, I can make ´em sigh
Someday they´ll clamor for my drama
Have you guessed yet,
Who´s the best yet?
If you ain´t I´ll tell you one more time
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!