Have you heard about the latest craze
That´s sweepin´ across the nation
All the punks from coast to coast
Have discovered an old invention:

"Your hair´s too long
Man, you´re a queer
You´re too new wave
Put down that beer…"
and
Do the Slag—Look at ´em run
Do the Slag—Hey you scum
Do the Slag—Ain´t it fun
Do the Slag—Let´s all be dumb
Badmouth people we don´t know
Make sure it´s behind their backs
Don´t let new people in our scene
It´s more fun than having a friend
We´ll slag everyone each and every night
So we can pretend that we´re all right
Make those pricks feel just so small
We´ll show the world that we´re three feet tall

Slander their integrity
Doubt their humanity
Talk about their haircuts
Are their politics correct?

Do the Slag!
Don´t let those sissies on the floor
They´re unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes
Let´s all do the latest craze
´Cause having allies never pays
We´ll slag everyone each and every night
So we can pretend that we´re all right
Make those pricks feel just so small
We´ll show the world that we´re three feet tall