In life one has to face a huge assortment
Of nauseating fads and good advice
There´s health and fitness, diet and deportment
And other pointless forms of sacrifice

Conversation, wit, I am a doubter
Manners, charm, they´re no way to impress
So forget the inner me, observe the outer
I am what I wear and how I dress

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh

Now I believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking
Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks
With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being
Is displayed to quite remarkable effects
From your cradle via trousseau to your death bed you´re on view so
Never compromise, accept no substitute
I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel
A dress has always been my strongest suit

Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards
I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time
Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban
Not to strut your stuff outrageously´s a crime
And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted
As they wander through my things to find en route
That in negligee or formal I am anything but normal
A dress has always been my strongest suit

Now you don´t need a recital of the reasons why it´s vital
That tonight I simply have to look my best
That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle
That I couldn´t make more impact if I´m dressed
So bring me all my finest, most audacious, my divinest
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot
Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping
A dress has always been my strongest suit