Me and my friends kickin´ in the household
Tryin´ to figure out thoughts start to unfold
Nothing to do or see I can´t understand
Combine all our thoughts to come up with a plan

Car alarm system too expensive to buy
But not if you´re gonna hire this guy

With a helmet on his head and a club in his hand
Cock in sock, it´s the naked jock man
Naked, Naked, Naked, Jock
Naked, Naked, Naked, Man

Tall dark man going to break into my car
With Naked Jock Man he ain´t gonna get far
Car alarm sounds, trunk lifts up
He jumps to the ground

What the fuck´s that?

I can hear him scream in fright
Naked Jock Man just ruined his night
You can run, you can hide, just turn yourself in
Cause he´ll get you in the end

He´s the Naked Jock Man
And he´s after Dan
Naked Jock Man
R-Y-A-N

Now months have passed since the birth of the jock man
Sally Jesse Raphael and David Letterman
Want the jock man to show his face
He´s the next bitch on Melrose Place

Naked Jock Man was just a big joke

Now you´ll see his ass on all the talk shows
The people want to know
They´re willing to die
Who the fuck is that guy?