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Ex-boyfriend

by Lil Dicky

lyricscopy.com
Ex-Boyfriend

[Verse 1]

Now I been datin this girl named Katie, she hot as hell
And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dont smell

And I don´t fall for chickens
But this one a little different
Body sickening,
plus she really good at making breaded chicken

Got me thinkin she the one man
Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man
Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close
I swear this the most that I´ve felt so damn exposed

Oh yeah there´s one more thing
And I know this shit gonna sound insane
But I still haven´t hit it
I admit it, I wish I was kidding

Never been up inside before
Because shes only fucked one guy before
And though I really wanna boink this whore
She ma sweetie 3.14

So I´m stayin patient, and masterbating,
And now ma heart is sorta racing
Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating

Hell yeah, I´m down, i´m bout to go all out
I´m gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man Handshake

But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,
And he seem to know who Katie is
So I say "who this" and she say
Dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim"

[Chorus 1]

And I ain´t usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I´m lookin at this dude I can´t believe my eyes
Cuz he´s the best looking guy that I´ve seen in my whole life

He´s got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
Man this the closest thing I´ve seen to a Grecian god
And now I´m lookin at ma chick, cuz his dick´s been inside her rawww

Awww damn

[Verse 2]

Man this is crazy
I can´t believe this guy used to fuck ma lady
I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti

Katie´s huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades
And I´m buggin and queasy, this aint okay

And then they say, "let´s get drinks" so I say okay
Even though I was about to get laid!

Man this mafucka look like Ashton
Combined wit a lil Hugh Jackman
In other words, he´s so damn attractive
So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him

Now I´m in the back wit him, sippin on some yak wit him
And he payin for it all, he investment bankin...
I´m acting, like i ain´t distracted
But I´m reenacting him and Katie bangin

And now I´m feelin pissed, so I go and take a piss
Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is

And I had to see, and I was mad discrete
And I got on my toes and I took a little peek

Oh my god becky, look at that cock

[Chorus 2]

And I ain´t usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I´m lookin at his dick, I cant believe me eyes
Because he´s got the biggest cock that I´ve seen in my whole life
And now I´m starin at this dude´s soft dick with a lotta hate
Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
And I don´t know if I can date ma girl after tonighttttt

Aw damn

[Verse 3]

I don´t know what to do
Dude´s dick is really huge
I didn´t realize a penis could be so smooth

I know she´s missin that
My penis isn´t that
I´m lookin closer I think that his dick has abs

Six pack on a dick
Now what the fuck is that
It´s so long and thick
It´s like a punching bag

I´m sayin it´s so shaven, head is amazing
Got ma dick looking like a raisin
Skin tone insane, man he´s hung like saddam hussain, its craazzy

What the fuck should I do?
He gotta Ruth´s Chris dick, and mine´s a drive thru....

I think it´s time to
Tell Katie ma goodbyes
Cuz I simply can´t survive
After seeing what was in between his thighs

So I tell her

[Chorus 3]

That this dude´s gotta dick that I don´t comprehend
I had to move ma neck to see it end to end
I mean the physics of his dick just don´t make any sense

And I think it´s for the best if this comes to an end
Because the sex with him must have been the best
And I would say let´s just be friends,
But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye

Then she told me dicky I don´t really know what to say
Because I dated this dude in second grade
So I don´t know about his dick, now let´s go home and get you laiddd

And then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we belly slapped
And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came,
I pulled out and nutted all over her left thighhh. Aww damn
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