A Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah college boy threw all his books away
He said "I´ve lost my appetite, my hair is turning grey
I know my greek and history, and latin is a "pie"
But if east is east and west is west, then won´t you tell me why

When it´s night time in Italy it´s wednesday over here
When it´s fish day in Germany
You can´t get shaved in Massachusetts
How high is up? I´d like to know
How low is down? And when will we have snow?
If you bump into Gallagher you´ll find that Shean is near
When it´s night time in Italy it´s wednesday over here"

When it´s night time in Italy it´s wednesday over here
When it´s Christmas in Albany
They´re catching fish in Scandanavia
That´s right, you´re wrong
No, no, you´re wrong, that´s right
Although the days are long
It´s always cool at night
If you can´t play the piccolo
The holidays are near
When it´s night time in Italy and wednesday over here

This Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah college boy stood up in class and said
"I looked up my geography, and found out Ceasar´s dead!
The reason I speak portuguese is I´m a clever guy
But if "parley vous" means "how are you"
Then won´t you tell me why

When it´s night time in Italy it´s wednesday over here
All the onions in Sicily make people cry in California
You drive a horse. I drive a Ford
That doesn´t prove a sailor is a board
If you talk to an Eskimo his breath will freeze your ear
When it´s nighttime in Italy it´s wednesday over here

When it´s night time in Italy it´s wednesday over here
When it´s wash day in Piccardy
They´re eating ice cream cones in Georgia
Sixteen and four makes thirty one
Take eight from five and your day´s work is done
There are people who hesitate, but corned-beef makes them cheer
When it´s night time in Italy and Wednesday over here

When it´s night time in Italy, it´s wednesday over here
When the wind blows in Louisville
I always dream of Julius Caesar
Young folks are young, of course
And old folks are old, why not
Fire is very hot
But ice is sometimes cold
Try and fondle a porcupine, what makes ice cream so dear?
When it´s night time in Italy, it´s wednesday over here

I saw a Chinaman
Fight a Scandanavian
Up steped an Englishman, and said "I´d like to speak
Why kick this man around?
Why strike him when he´s down?
Just hit him with a hammer and then bite him on his cheek!"

Up steped an Irish cop
Who said "This fight will have to stop
I´d like to know what the scrap is all about"
They said "When we tell you
It will drive you nutty too"
And so they held the traffic up while they tried to figure out

When it´s night time in Italy, it´s wednesday over here
When the snow falls in Araby
They´re squeezing grapes in California
Look at you here. Grass on the dew
Leather shoes are black, but other shoes are new
If there´s sunshine in Washington, what makes the moonshine dear?
When it´s night time in Italy, it´s wednesday over here

If you lay on a mattress, you´ll find that spring is near
If you haven´t an appetite, just think of Paul Revere
By the time that they pass a bill to bring back wine and beer
It´ll be night-time in Italy and wednesday over here