we are the pirates who don´t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we´ll just tell you, we don´t do anything

well I´ve never been to Greenland
and I´ve never been to Denver
and I´ve never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul
and I´ve never been to Moscow
and I´ve never been to Tampa
and I´ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates who don´t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we´ll just tell you, we don´t do anything

and I´ve never hoist the main sail
and I´ve never swabbed the poop deck
and I´ve never veered starboard, cause I´ve never sailed at all
and I´ve never walked the gang plank
and I´ve never owned a parrot.
and I´ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates who don´t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we´ll just tell you, we don´t do anything

I´ve never plucked a rooster
and I am not too good at ping-pong
and I´ve never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
and I´ve never kissed a chipmunk,
and I´ve never gotten head lice
and I have never been to Boston in the fall

(pirate captains log 2002
who be this band relient k
and why they be so full of contradictions)

we don´t know what he did
but we´re down with captain kidd
we don´t wake up before lunch
but we all eat captain crunch
we don´t smoke, we don´t chew
we watch captain kangaroo

and I´ve never licked a spark-plug
and I´ve never sniffed a stink bug
and I´ve never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball
and I´ve never bathed in yogurt
and I don´t look good in leggings
and I´ve never been to Boston in the fall

we are the pirates who don´t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we´ll just tell you, we don´t do anything

we are the pirates who don´t do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we´ll just tell you, we don´t do anything