If you love your lady then here´s some good advice
If you want her to stay with you then don´t go treating her nice
If you buy her flowers she´ll drop you twice as fast
So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her ass

Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that lady right
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
She won´t put up a fight

If you´re at the strip joint hanging out with the guys
When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes
Tell her that she´s ugly and treat her really mean
She´d really want to fuck you ´cause strippers have low self esteem
Then you can
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Fuck that dancer girl
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Just like Ron Jeremy would
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Use your spit for lube
Hit her in the shitter
Treat her like a critter
Screw her poopie too

Don´t be retarded, you´ve gotta listen to my song (to this song)
Don´t be afraid to get some peanuts on your dong
Hit her in the shitter
Gotta treat her like a critter

Treat her like a critter
Fuck fuck yeah
Treat her like a critter
Woah, she really likes it
Treat her like a critter
Yeah, my littles slut girl
Treat her like a critter
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
She likes it in the ass
Ooh yeah yeah yeah