Last night, I got so high
I think I had sex with the cable guy
Well I´ll admit, it would´ve been funny,
But that pole smoker stole all my drug money
I buy chronic every week or so
But I do it when I´m really really high on blow
I´m wide awake, but it´s hard to count
I paid 1100 dollars for a quarter ounce!

I like drugs but they don´t like me
My brain cells seem to disagree
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don´t like me

I was pounding some bitch the other night
Rolling on E man, feeling alright
When I was high she was hotter than heck
But I woke up to a face that looked like Shrek
I get high, that ain´t no lie
But I can´t afford another friggin DUI
Doctor says "stop, or you´ll be dying"
I was gonna, but then you said you were buying

I like drugs but the don´t like me
It´s always better, when they´re free!
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don´t like me
No they don´t!
Don´t try and stop me, I can´t be saved, oh yeah
If I die tonight at least my balls are shaved,
Can you necro-feel-it!

Aaahhhhh yeah... I like drugs
I do it when I´m chillin´
Aaaahhhhhh yeah... I like drugs
I´ve even snorted penicillin
If I can crush it - it goes up my nose
If it´s smack I´ll shoot it in between my toes
How old am I? Nobody knows!
My surgeon is my dealer so my age never shows!
Vicodin, Valium, Percocet and crack,
Everybody scream Heavy Metal´s back!
I like drugs but the don´t like me

I like drugs but the don´t like me
I´m driving right now to the next party
I like drugs, I like drugs, I like drugs, but they don´t like me

[Michael:] Oh shit man, I´m getting pulled over again...
Ah I better chug these beers, where´s those pills, shit?
[Cop:] Sir do you realize you were going 25mph on the freeway back there?
[Michael:] Well what´s the fucking speed limit? 15 mph?
[Cop:] Sir do you have any Warrants?
[Michael:] I got their first CD, but you can´t have it motherfucker! Later!
[Cop:] I got a 5150 on a 2112, I´m following a 1984 yellow Camaro. Suspect looks like a chubby David Lee Roth... scratch that, more like a skinny version of Vince Neil!