Shopping spree for the family tree, haven´t seen your family tree, in quite a while
Too many sandwiches and wine, sherry stains down your best mans tie, what a speech
The band arrive, the grannies cry, the singers tongue´s´s in the bar maids mouth, what a voice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two and his head´s still stuck down the portaloo, what a man

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he´s overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
And that´s just tonight

The blue rinsed hairs lift up their chairs
The bands too loud, they´re off down stairs what a noise
The bride and groom they dance their dance
The singer mimes there´s still a chance, the bar maid smiles

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he´s overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
And that´s just tonight

You bought a sequin dress for your chicken breasts, the discos late and he´s overpaid tonight
You got a diamond ring and a man who sings, the man who sings made love to the bar maid twice
Grandpa drunk a drop or two and his head´s still stuck down the portaloo, what a man
The bride and groom they dance their dance, the singer mimes there´s still a chance tonight
And the bar maid smiles