MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...
TODD: Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot´s ´is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can´t be traced...
Bus´ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD: HAH!
LOVETT:
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus´ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy´s good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I´m sure they can´t compare as far as taste!



TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I´ve lived
Without you all these years, I´ll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen´ll
Soon be comin´ for a shave,
Won´t they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD:
How choice!

How
Rare!

TODD:
For what´s the sound of the world out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It´s man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And who are we to deny it in here?

LOVETT:
It´s priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it´s too good, at least!
Then again, they don´t commit sins of the flesh,
So it´s pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven´t you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y´see, the trouble with poet is
´Ow do you know it´s deceased?
Try the priest!

LOVETT:
Lawyer´s rather nice.
TODD:
If it´s for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that´s lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you´re British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it´s clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it´s been!
TODD:
Is that squire,
On the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You´ll notice it´s grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It´s green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev´rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know

That those above will serve those down below!

TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It´s fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd´s pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I´ve just begun --
Here´s the politician, so oily
It´s served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it´s going to run!
LOVETT:
Try the friar,
Fried, it´s drier!
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
LOVETT:
Then actor,
That´s compacter!

TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
TODD:
We´ll take the customers that we can get!
LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love!
TODD:
We´ll not discriminate great from small!
No, we´ll serve anyone,
Meaning anyone,
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!