i hate my band they are what i am
they´re filthy deceitful from fire to pan
and when i look back on what they´ve done to my life
they´ve cost me my dog, my job, and my wife

i hate my band more than you could know
they take yer mother and coercer to sew
the holes in their socks and even their kilts
they´ve spoiled the mil before it´s been spilt

but don´t get me wrong they´re goods lads at heart
halos and horns, they got pitchforks and harps
i´m singin´ you the story so that it be told
i toured as a young man, they made me old

i hate my band it´s always the same
they waste all my time and they force me to play
when the concert is over the music is done
we constantly battle cuz ´it´s half the fun

but don´t get me wrong they´re goods lads at heart
halos and horns, they got pitchforks and harps
i´m singin´ you the story so that it be told
i toured as a young man, they made me old

i hate my band for all and for one
if we didn´t sing it there´d be nae song at all
when finally alone and safe in my grave
i comfort to know that i may have escaped
so do me a favor when i´ve played my hand
inscribe on my tombstone "i hate my band."