Doctor, there´s something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chilblains on my feet
My eyesight´s getting dimmer, I can´t see

Doctor thanks for seeing me today, I´m glad,
I´ve got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today I´ve got the mumps
And tomorrow I´ll catch chicken pox as well.

Doctor doctor doctor make me well
I´ve not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
I´ve not got long to go I can tell
I´ve not got long to go I can tell

Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And I´m shrinking last week I was five foot four

I´ve been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
It´s about to pick on me, I´ve still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox I´d get flu?

[chorus]

Do you think it´s time that I made out my will?
I´ll leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts don´t tell me, I´m too ill.