Uncle Vernon
Uncle Vernon
Independent as a
Hog on ice
Hi´s a big shot down there
At the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion
For Mr.Weiss

Uncle Biltmore and
Uncle William
Made a
Million during
World War II
But they´re tightwads
And they´re
Cheap skates
And they´ll never
Give a dime to you

Auntie Mame
Has gone
Inside
She lives in
The doorway of an old hotel
And the
Radio´s playing opera and
All she ever says
Is go to Hell.

Uncle Violet
Flew as a pilot
He said there
Ain´t no pretty
Girls in France
Now he runs a
Tidy little
Bookie joint they say
He never
Keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill
Will never leave a will
And the tumor is as
Big as an egg
He has a mistress
She´s Puerto Rican
And i heard she has
A wooden leg.
Uncle Phil
Can´t live without his pills
He has emphysema and
He´s almost blind
And we must find out
Where the money is
Get it now
Before he loses his min

Uncle Vernon
Uncle Vernon
Independent as a
Hog on ice
Hi´s a big shot down there
At the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion
For Mr.Weiss