He was sittin´ at the bar, sippin´ on a regular Coke
We were drinkin´ and smokin´ and makin´ him the butt of our jokes
We all said, "Man, what happened to you? Why can´t you just have a few?"
He said, "I would if I could, but it´s probably best that I don´t."

[Chorus]
Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, I´m the world´s greatest lover and a dancin´ machine
I get loud, I get proud....and it gets worse
Well if I have one, I´ll have thirteen
Naw, there ain´t no in-between
Cause, the more I drink, the more I drink.

A couple of cold ones, and somebody hands me a shot.
Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin´ hot
And pretty soon I´m bummin´ cigarettes and sweet talkin´ some big brunette
Yeah, once I get on a roll, ain´t no tellin´ where I´ll stop

[Chorus]

Yep-yep
Humm, that´s what I´m talking about

Man, if I have one, I´ll have thirteen
And they can´t get me off the kareoke machine,
The more I drink...the more I drink.
Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.