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Hit the switch

par Bright Eyes
I´m staring out into that vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing that´s alive, I´m all there is
And I start attacking my vodka
Stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stoplights
You seem ready to walk
You know I´ll call you eventually
When I wanna talk, ´til then you´re invisible

Cause there´s this switch that gets hit
And it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks
Maybe the fifth or the sixth
I´m completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing, nothing.

Well I need a break from the city again
I think I´ll ship myself back west
I´ve got a friend there she says,
"hey anytime"
Unless that offers expired
I have been less than frequent
She´s under no obligation
To indulge every whim
And I´m so ungrateful, I take
She gives and forgives and I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes
With a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed
In her beautiful mind
I say, "I´ll trade you one
For two nightmares of mine,
I have somewhere I die,
I have somewhere we all die"

I´m thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I´ve said that a couple of times
And I´m always changing my mind
Well I guess I am
But there´s this burn in my stomach
And there´s this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning´s clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don´t die
I´m a goddamn hypocrite

But then night rolls around and it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live
And so I do what I do, and at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more, mean more?
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