Mother, Father, I´m here in the zoo
I can´t come home ´cause I´ve grown up too soon
I got my sentence
I got my command
They said they´d make me major if I met all their demands
I could be a corp´ral into corp´ral punishment
Or the gen´ral manager of a large establishment
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the

Goon squad
They´ve come to look you over and they´re giving you the eye
Goon squad
They want you to come out to play
You´d better say goodbye

Some grow just like their dads
And some grow up too tall
Some go drinking with the lads
Some don´t grow up at all

And you must find the proper place
For everything you see
But you´ll never get to make a lampshade out of me

I could join a chain of males or be the missing (a) link
Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the

Good squad....

Mother, Father, I´m doing so well
I´m making such progress now that you can hardly tell
I fit in a little dedication
With one eye on the clock
They caught you under medication
You could be in for a shock

Thinking up the alibis that ev´ryone´s forgotten
Just another mummy´s boy gone to rotten
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod
But I never thought they´d put me in the

Goon squad....