Good morning, dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To watch two people we know make a big mistake
They´ll stand up at the alter
And solemnly swear i do
They´ll be together forever
´til they find somebody new

Her daddy´s in the front row
Muttering oh no here we go again
They had a couple dates
Now she´s three months late
And it´s twenty buck a plate i spent, oh:

Good morning, dearly beloved
I´d like to welcome ya´ll
To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol
Please bow your heads and join me
In a prayer for these two
Who´ll be together forever
´til they find somebody new

The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he´s putting the ring on her
He´s checking out the bridesmaids
Thinking that he might take
The maid of honor´s honor, oh:

Welcome, dearly beloved
We are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two
Drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper
And a dragging muffler too
They´ll be together forever
Until they find somebody new

So raise your glass and join me
Here´s to the bride and groom
They´ll be together forever
´til they find somebody new.