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Uncle bernie's farm

par Frank Zappa

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I´m dreaming... (Oh no-o-o!)

There´s a bomb to blow yo mommy up
A bomb for your daddy too (ouch.)
A baby doll that burps & pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf yo buddy´s arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked:
Uncle Bernie´s Farm!

There´s a little plastic congress
There´s a nation you can buy (I´ll take two.)
There´s a doll that looks like mommy
She´ll do anything but cry (I seen her.)
There´s a doll that looks like daddy
He´s a funny little man
Push a button & ask for money
There´s a dollar in his hand (check his wallet.)

We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
Christmas don´t make it no more
Don´t you know that murder & destruction
Scream the toys in every store (think this´ll sell in New York?)

There´s a man who runs the country
There´s a man who tried to think
And they´re all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There´s a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joys!
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys...

[FZ:] We got this car: when it hits the wall you see the guy dying... got the little plastic puddles of blood... by the car
I´M DREAMING...
[Ray:] He has intestines... he has plastic intestines you can
stuff back into his stomach...
[FZ:] There´s this other thing, I´ve got bombs. I´ve got rockets, I´ve got a... I´ve got a stilson wrench & plastic brass knuckles...
[Ray:] And it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects...
[FZ:] We got a ´39 Chevy...
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