Dum diti dum dang dang di dum
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look Jack I´m the shit
put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
she never liked me and I know that´s true
Kicked me out the crib becuz I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares
and all I ever get is funny stares
I can´t help it if I´m nothin but a wino
so I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin´ bottles of booze outta A & P
I know a girl at Denny´s and I always eat free
Got the same birthdate as Thomas Crapper
for Christmas I bought the old man the Clapper
I´m so dapper u can call me Dan
but they call me round eye when I´m chilin in Japan
Got a bad ass bitch adn she ain´t no dike
but fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like
I like bean burritos from Taco Bell
I like trippin on acid with Dick Vitale
My hair ain´t plastic and my clothes aren´t clashin´
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90´s fashion
Took too many many trip and now I can´s stop trippin
my mellow D. killed a rat in the kitchen
U think u toke tuff I´d disagree
nobody blows more doobs than Richard D.
I get ill on hoes who I know ain´t fertile
I´m a real jet setter like Cecil turtle
I´m down with Bill Bands so Fuck Joe Glover
and while I´m at it muther fuck fat ass Sally Struthers
U look fine girl kinda undercover
but I can´t fuck ya cuz you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
it ain´t Eric Estrada or Kool and The Gang
U know I hand in the Clem chillin on the strip
with all them mother fuckers who slang that shit
U know I´m a pimp hold my dick like a holster
u sing it "all the girls want a kid rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that´s how it strikes me
but fuck it cuz I know "Somebody up there likes me."
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho´