You still cross my mind from time lo lime. And I mostly smile.
Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why
So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen,
trying to figure out what my head thinks,
but my head just ain´t what it used to be.
And then again, what´s the point anyway?
I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony
to see if you could see me - hidden quietly away
And I remember the skin of your fingers,
The spot three quarters up I´d always touch when I was out of things to say.
You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand.

I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear,
that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand,
And I remember how you smiled through the smoke
in a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes.
And I remember the way that you dressed and,
how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat
And I remember when I knew that you´d be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing

and I bet if I had to do it all again, I´d feel the same pain,
And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears.
How I wept to god in fits. I´ve hated airports ever since.
It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.
And every single day I feel it fade away, but -
I still remember how the distance tricked us,
and lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured.
I still remember how we held so strong to this,
though we had never really settled on a way out.
I still remember the silence, and how we´d always find a way
to turn and run to our mistakes.
I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again.
My dear, I hear your voice in mine.
I´ve been alone here, I´ve been afraid, my dear.
I´ve been at home here. You´ve been away for years. I´ve been alone.
I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me.
I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea.
I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear.
It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear.
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.
And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.
If I can´t love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend.
And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end