How d´you do,
I see you´ve met my faithful handyman,
He´s just a little brought down because when you knocked,
He thought you were the candyman,
Don´t get strung out by the way that I look,
Don´t judge a book by its cover,
I´m not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I´m one hell of a lover,

I´m just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania,

So let me show you around,
Maybe play you a sound,
You look like you´re both pretty groovy,
Or if you want something visual,
That´s not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie,

Brad: «I´m glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?
We´re both in a bit of a hurry.
We´ll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don´t want to be any worry.»

So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?
Well babies, don´t you panic,
By the light of the night when it all seems alright,
I´ll get you a satanic mechanic,

I´m just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania,

So why don´t you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favourite obsession,
I´ve been making a man with blond hair and a tan,
And he´s good for relieving my tension,

I´m just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania,

So come up to the lab. And see what´s on the slab,
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the rain isn´t really to blame,
So I´ll remove the cause, but not the symptom.