Whiskey Man´s my friend, he´s with me nearly all the time
He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine

Nobody has ever seen him, I´m the only one
Seemingly I must be mad, Insanity is fun
If that´s the way it´s done

Doctors say he just a figment of my twisted mind
If they can´t see my Whiskey Man they must be going blind

Two men dressed in white collected me two days ago
They said there´s only room for one and Whiskey Man can´t go

Whiskey Man will waste away if he´s left on his own
I can´t even ring him ´cause he isn´t on the phone
Hasn´t got a home

Life is very gloomy in my little padded cell
It´s a shame there wasn´t room for Whiskey Man as well

Whiskey Man´s my friend, he´s with me nearly all the time
He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine
Just fine