He´s an ol´ altar boy
Lying out there in the street
He´s an ol´ alter boy
Bound up in leather and chains
That´s why I´m feeling so blue
I´m an old altar boy
What about you?

Now, I can order in Latin
Make ´em au gratin, Joe
I´m an old altar boy
That´s why I´m so depressed
I never got the rest of the dream
Just the ritual
Now I´m habitual
Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable
Cause I´m an old altar boy
That´s what happened to me.

I´m an old altar boy
He´s hoping he can meet a woman dressed like a nun
He knows there´s got to be some around here
Drinking across from the church
A little Father Cribari wine
On a Sunday morn´ time.

I´m an old altar boy.
Why is he winking at this time in his life?
He never took a wife, cause he´s an old altar boy
Oh, yeah...
What about you?