Sitting here on Christmas Eve with a brandy in my hand
Oh I´ve had a few too many and it´s getting hard to stand
I keep hearing noises from my fireplace
I must be going crazy or the brandy´s won the race

And I keep hearing ho ho ho, guess who´s here
Your fat and jolly friend draws near
Ho ho ho, surprise, surprise
The bearded weirdy´s just arrived

Ho ho ho, guess who´s here
Your fat and jolly friend draws near
Ho ho ho, surprise surprise
The bearded wierdy´s just arrived

On my roof there´s snorting sounds, and bells inside my head
My vision´s blurred with colour, and all he sees is red
There´s a pair of large sized wellies coming down my flue
And the smell of burning rubber, oh is filling up the room