I saw a little kid
As he walked around
He picked a candy bar up
Off the ground
He chowed about a half
Then his face turned blue
Turned out that candy bar was doggy-doo
Don´t pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don´t pick it up I say
You´re gonna be bummed that you went that way

You´re out there makin´ bacon
No scrutiny
You mess around too much
And you got VD
You know you never think
And you´re sore today
You´re gonna take it back to California
Don´t pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don´t pick it up I say
You´re gonna be bummed that you went that way

My friend was kinda hurtin´
For a girl to try
He saw one that looked like Pat
On Saturday Night Live
It had a pair of thingies
But a mustache too
Not clearly male nor female
So now what to do
Don´t pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don´t pick it up I say
You´re gonna be bummed that you went that way