Hello Sir, remember me?
I´m the man you thought I´d never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
Lad called ´thingy´ for six whole years.

Yes, that´s right, my name´s Bob
The one who landed the pop star´s job
The one you told, look don´t touch
The kid who wouldn´t amount to much.

Well, I´m here and you´re still there
With a fake sports car and receding hair.
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman who teaches art.

Married to the life, married to the school
I wanna sing and dance Sir; now who´s the fool?
Sing and dance, you thought I was barmy
Settle down thingy, join the army.

And who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want I´ll have to miss
Sir is God, he´s been given the right
To structure lives overnight.

Now I know life´s true path
Tanks and guns that´ll be a laugh
No, not me I´m a mega civilian
I won´t lead my life riding pillion.

But thanks for the advice and I´m sure it´ll do
For the negative dickheads just like you.
As for now I´ve a different weapon
Stage and sceen is about to beckon.

And here I sit in first class
Bollocks Sir, kiss my arse..